Monday, June 1, 2009

Grammar for Idiots


All right, it's time for a lesson in grammar. Why? I'm tired of people not knowing the difference between TO, TOO and TWO. Or THERE, THEIR and THEY'RE. Or IT'S and ITS. Or YOUR and YOU'RE!

Lesson the First:
When using TO, TOO or TWO, please be conscious of what exactly you are trying to say! For example: "Let's go TO the movies." "I would like some ice cream, TOO!" "My nephew is TWO years old." In other words, TOO is equivalent to ALSO or AS WELL. It can also be used as an adjective to describe something. For example: "It is TOO hot in Nashville."

And for anyone who cannot figure out when TWO should
be used, you need to learn math TOO!

Now, I'm going TO let you ponder how TO use these
words correctly.

Lesson the Second:
I understand that this can
be slightly confusing to some, but again, just think of the context when using THERE, THEIR or THEY'RE. For example: "My car is over THERE." "What are THEIR problems?" "THEY'RE getting on my nerves!" THEIR is a form of the possessive. Live it. Learn it. Love it. Use it correctly!

THEY'RE is a contraction of THEY ARE! If you
cannot say THEY ARE when trying to use one of these three words, then THEY'RE is not the world you should be using.

I'm just sayin'...it's a pet peeve. I know everyone makes the occasional mistake, but blatant misuse of these words makes me want to kick a wall.
Lesson the Third:
Now let us move onto ITS and IT'S.
Essentially, just remember that IT'S is a contraction of IT IS. If you cannot say IT IS instead of ITS, then you do not need to use the word IT'S. For example: "IT'S time to go to work." "That is ITS correct color."

Please remember that using the correct spelling will make us Grammar Ninjas less crazy.

Lesson the Fourth:
So, I think this is one of my least favorite mistakes people can make. Come on! It's not that difficult to know the difference. I am, of course, talking a
bout YOUR and YOU'RE.

Let us look at some examples: "YOU'RE a Twilight freak!" "Call YOUR mom."

YOU'RE is a contraction of YOU ARE. YOUR is a possessive pronoun.

See how simple all this nonsense really is? I'm sure YOU'RE pretty annoyed
by now! :)
Puppet Angel wants you to know that he may be made of felt, and his nose does come off, but he is still a vampire and will bite you if you piss me him off by not following these very simple rules!


Thanks for putting up with my bad attitude! I've said my piece!


3 comments:

  1. OME! LOL You must watch the same crap I do! I know that puppet! LOL

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  2. haha! i love that puppet! :D

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  3. "then THEY'RE is not the world you should be using."

    Use the word "word", not "world". ;)

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