Sunday, August 9, 2009

England. Day 1. Part 1.

Attention Loyal Readers!
Here is the moment you have all been waiting for!
I have been to England and back.
Now, over several blog posts, I shall cover the details of my fantabulous vacation!

Saturday and Sunday pretty much overlapped for me.
I shall consider these two days DAY 1...

Now before I dazzle you with the amazing photos of England, I first need to share the pre-journey photos as I feel they are all just as important.

Photo #1:
Here I am, posing with my sweet nephew, Patrick, just minutes before leaving.
Patrick was quite upset that I was leaving.
This is largely due to the fact that I said I'm riding on an airplane.
He kept saying "I go on airplane with Kelley."
Then I told him I was flying to England.
He replied, "I go to England! I go to Englandtown!"
Englandtown, here I come!

Photo 2 & 3:
Here are the clouds over North Carolina as we were preparing to land.
Aren't they so pretty?
I found myself suddenly starving for mashed potatoes.
I'm not sure of the correlation, but perhaps flying just does that to a person.

Photo 4:
Okay, here are some clouds over England.
We're getting closer my friends.
It is now Sunday.
I have not slept, only dozed.
I have eaten two meals.
We flew around Gatwick three times before finally landing.
And I was in England!

Okay, stop.
Before we go on rejoicing, I'd like to play out my experience through customs.
Customs Agent:
So, what do you do for a living?
Umm...nothing. I lost my job a month ago.
Thanks for bringing up that annoying thought, asshole.
(Please note: any italicized dialogue is all in my head because I would have most likely been deported or whatever for vocalizing what I was really thinking)
Customs Agent:
So, if you don't have a job, why are you on holiday?
(taking deep breath)
Well, I lost my job after purchasing my non-refundable plane tickets.
Customs Agent:
So, you don't have a job then. How much money are you carrying?
Four hundred and fifty pounds.
Customs Agent:
Could I please see your money? Do you have your flight plan showing when you will be leaving the country?
(inwardly rolling my eyes)
Jesus Christ, is this asshole going to let me through or what?
I'm leaving the country on August sixth. Here is my return flight plan.
Customs Agent:
So, you're not staying in a hotel?
No. I'm staying with a friend's mother.
Customs Agent:
Oh. So what is the name of this person and how do you know them?
(growing more and more impatient)
Her name is Hazel. We know each other...
(I'm going to skip the history of how we know each other because I've explained it to almost everyone I know anyway).
Customs Agent:
So, you're here on holiday.
Yes, dumbshit, I told you this already.
Customs Agent:
Will you be looking for work while you are here?
No! I'm here on a vacation. I have not taken a vacation in over two years.
Customs Agent:
blah blah blah I'm annoying the shit out of you blah blah blah...
blah blah blah Do I look like a fucking terrorist blah blah blah

Needless to say, that was not exactly the
Welcome to England
I had been hoping for.
**For future reference: Do not travel out of the country alone after losing your job (despite the B.S. reason for losing said job in the first place).**

And here we are my friends!
Brighton Pier
This is quite a lovely beach, if I do say so myself.
And it was a mere 45 minute drive from Hazel's mother's house.
At least, I think it was 45 minutes although I cannot really be sure.
I was suffering from jet lag and recovering from 20,000 annoying questions customs can ask you while you try to enter the country.

So, here I am doing the token touristy picture.
The background is quite lovely, no?
I was pretty windy there, so just ignore the funky hair.

Here is an image of the ocean.
Yes, England has fabulous beaches.
It wasn't necessarily hot outside that day.
It was sunny, and very pretty.
Only downfall?
I hate seagulls!

This is the first ever picture of me and Hazel together.
Too bad the wind was not on our side when we had this picture taken.
From what I learned while I was in England, Hazel is pretty much a British version of me (meaning she is shy and enjoys the same things I do) minus the American obnoxiousness.

Well, in case you have lived under a rock for the past few years, you are more than likely to recognize Lightning McQueen right here.
He's one of my nephew's favorite characters.
I took this picture for his benefit.
That's all.

This is one of the many wonderful things I got to see at Brighton Pier.
I did not do any of the rides.
I was perfectly content just walking around, taking it all in.
I was, after all, in England!
I had only been dreaming about this moment for many years (hence the reason I wasn't going to let the whole not having a job anymore B.S. screw that up).
Does anyone else have a desire to climb that bouncy looking thing over and over again?
Or is it just me?

Okay, my friends, this is the flag of the United Kingdom.
I don't think we need any further explanation.
I just thought it looked pretty.

More images of the beach.
Their beach is covered in pebbles instead of sand.
The stones make the beaches look much cleaner than sand.

Their buildings (as seen in the background) are also very picturesque.
It almost seemed a little magical being here.
I could tell I was going to love it right away.

So did Pocket Edward and Pocket Bella.
They begged me (although not on their hands and knees since their legs don't bend) to let them take a picture like this.
Of course, I couldn't deny them.
They behaved so well the entire trip from the US to the UK.

They thoroughly enjoyed that moment.
Almost as much as I enjoyed this moment:

That's right ladies and gents!
The Red Phone Box Photo!
I got it on my first day!
It was absolutely everything I ever dreamed of and hoped it could be...and more!

Even Pocket Bella and Pocket Edward wanted their picture in the Red Phone Box.
They got their wish although I was inclined to throw them into some sort of sanitizing bath after leaning against something that appeared to be pretty nasty.
Ewww guys!

Then they decided it was time for a good ole sunbathe.
I'm inclined to think that Pocket Edward's Ray Bans kept him from sparkling in the sun.
That's the excuse he keeps giving me, at least.
Just as long as the Volturi doesn't find us, then we'll stick with that theory.

This is just a clocktower thing.
England has lots of them.
Later on you will see shots of Big Ben from various angles.
It's quite impressive looking really.

And here we are, sitting down to a nice lunch.
The moment I got my drink, Pocket Edward attacked my coke like it was his most valuable lifeline.
Little dude, calm down.
You cannot have my coke.
They don't give out free refills on drinks here in England!
Pocket Edward:
Bloody hell.
Awww, you're already talking like a brit! That's so sweet!!

And there you have it!
Part 1 of Day 1 in England!
Don't feel disappointed that this post has come to an end.
I have 400 pictures to share.
We're just getting started!

Anyway, I just finished watching True Blood.
And this is all I have to say...

Holy Hotness, where can I get me one of those?!?!
Seriously, feel free to bite me anytime, Mr. Northman.
Then we can make fun of Bill Compton until the end of time!

In other news:
I was sad to hear that John Hughes died.
He had some truly classic movies!
RIP John Hughes
and thank you for making some wonderful movies!

And that is all I have to say for now!
I hope you have enjoyed the first of many pictures to come!
The more comments I get, the sooner I will update with more photos!
You guys are the best!

Kellebelle1981 :)


  1. okeedokee...sounds fun...PE shoulda known cokes are hella expensive in the UK and what's with the no refills...god bless america! Land of the free refills!

  2. Kelley! I absolutely and completely adore your blog! I don't know how I've missed it all this time...but believe you me, I'll be reading more of it! I am a little jealous that you had such a fabulous trip! That just means I'll have to make it a goal to go there someday! Love you!!

    Oh! And I was wondering if you'd brought Pocket Bella and Pocket Edward along...glad to see they got to enjoy the trip too! :)

  3. No refills? Wow. God Bless the USA. lol That's probably part of our problem! hah Loved the pictures. I especially love you put Alexander Skarsgard on at the end. Yum!! I've been reading the books over again. Making me wish Eric was real!

  4. Refill schmefill that's all I can say! England has lots of other cool things to make up for the lack free refills I promise!

    Loving the blog so far Kelley, looking forward ro reading more soon!

    Loved the John Hughes montage too :)

  5. I am so jealous of your crazy fun trip! I want to go now! Guess I'll have to settle for living vicariously through your pics instead. :)

  6. Awesome girl, love it! You have many more to post I bet, but I'm loving it and soooo jealous! Always wanted to visit England!!!You will find your EDWARD/SPIKE I'm sure of it!You remind me of Drew Barrymore, my idol!!!

  7. Great pictures and you look like you had so much fun spreading your awesomeness throughout UK.

    -P :)

  8. Damn those customs guys. they always give me crap too.
    BTW, I love Eric! Oh and I thought of you the other day. I was watching all the episodes of Torchwood. And guess who makes an appearance. Your lover, Spike. Totally thought of you whenever he showed up. :-)