Monday, November 9, 2009

In the arms of the Angels...

Here we go again.
Seasonal Depression has reared its ugly head.
Thank you, multi-million dollar pill companies for producing caplets I must swallow on a daily basis in order to avoid a possible nervous breakdown.
So here's the deal.
Three hundred and sixty five days a year, I suffer from what is known as Major Depressive Disorder as well as a Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I can keep these minor annoyances in my life fairly balanced when I am on a decent medication.
Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do when the Seasonal Depression hits.
It gets dark earlier.
The holidays are coming.
And I am experiencing an overwhelming sense of apathy and lethargy.
I find myself zoning out more frequently and having more difficulty controlling my temper.
All in all, this just plain sucks.

But not for me the furrow brow...
Instead, I've taken this opportunity to think about what I might be thankful for.
To say the least, 2009 has been quite an interesting year.

1) Friends
This has been a year for losing friends, but where I lost one or two, I gained many many more.
There will always be the friends in my life who have never let me down, never betrayed me, have watched me through my worst moments and still loved me despite my bad attitude (whether it be actual or something I'm accused of having because some people are just plain ignorant).
Without the love and support (and fair amount of verbal abuse aimed at anyone who has hurt me or pissed me off monumentally), I would probably be completely lost.
So thank you Julie, Andrea, Spiff, Emily, Shelley, and Allison for always being ones I can count on.
I'd also like to thank Brad (even though were rarely see each other anymore).  When he found out I lost my job, he not only said things to make me laugh and feel better, but also congratulated me on getting out of that hellhole once and for all.  I trust him more than anyone, I've told him more than I've told anyone, and even though we don't speak as much as we used to, I know that I will always be able to go to him if I ever really need to.

2) Family
This year has, indeed, been quite testing as far as family goes.
If anything, I know that my parents are amazing, and they did the very best job they could with the three of us fighting and making their lives hell for the first 18 years of our existence.
My mother and father are amazing, and each year I realize just a little more how important they really are to me.
On a side note: I'd like to thank my brother-in-law for helping me move several times this year.  Our running joke is that I will be moving again in six months, so why bother getting settled where I am?

3) My Job
I honestly had the hardest time coming into my current job.
It is the same line of work as before, but there is so much about it that is so different.
I believed that I would never get used to the place, and that everyone would continue to mistake my standoffish nature and quietness for bitchiness and snobbery.
I feel like I have really started to fit in, though, and that is saying a lot for someone who does not like change one tiny bit.
I love my bosses.
It makes my life easier having bosses that don't talk down to me.
It's nice having bosses that don't really play favorites.
It helps working with two other people who know where I am coming from.
I admit that I get a little nervous because my current place doesn't seem as organized, but I've discovered that things are handled with quite a bit more professionalism, and that puts my mind at ease.

Things I'm Looking Forward To:

New Moon
The first time I saw the countdown we had over 200 days!
We are now down to less than two weeks!

Well, I think I am.
I'm looking forward to the food.

Upgrading My Cell Phone
My current one likes to turn itself off...a lot.

I've paid the money, now I'm ready for the fun!

New Years
I can't wait for Jo, Violet, or Brenda to get their butts to Nashville so we can party! :)

Joke of the Day:
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at the horse and says
"Why the long face?"
Hah...what a knee slapper.

Video of the Day:
(In Honor of the Release of New Moon)

Picture of the Day:

Okay, my nephew is too cute.
I adore that child!

Buffy Quote of the Day:

"We like to talk big... vampires do. I'm going to destroy the world. That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've racing, Manchester united. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."

Spike always got the best ramblings. :)

I'm off to bed.

Kellebelle1981 :)


  1. Thanks for the kind words. We all feel the same way about you. :-) Glad to hear this job is starting to get better. Now, I'm off to crack up with more Spike quotes. ;-)

  2. I hope you can count me as one of those friends that is always there for you because I hope you know I am! We may be far away but I'm always here to listen and talk to you! Miss ya Kelley! Glad to hear your job is going more smoothly now too.

  3. what the effspice? i totally could have sworn your name was up there, anya! i swear i hallucinate half the time when i trying to write shit! :P

  4. KB - Sounds like you need some light! I will email you some pics from my Dr. Cullen days on Halloween. Hopefully they will give you a little light to brighten that darkness. Sending you a HUGE f'n HUG!!! Take care :) xox

    - iP585 (or Dr. C)

  5. Love ya girlie~! I feel the same way about you! Hope you feel somewhat better soon. Love ya!

  6. I love you girl! I love that we can sit 6 inches away from each other not talk and just be. That is true friendship. I still want to kill a certain ex-boss of yours! I would go to the slammer for you in a second! Love you bunches! I hate that your moving....not fair! I wanted you here!! Dammit! to quote DW Sonofabitch!

    Love you girl, more than you know!